Most of us are good at giving advice and support to others but we often find it difficult to show our own vulnerability and to ask for help ourselves, even though it may well be holding us back. Leading and managing a small business can be isolating and it can seem like you are very much on your own. Your responsibilities can be daunting and many people are relying on you. This can wear you down if you’re not careful.
Our culture has made us feel that going it alone is something we feel we should be able to do and as a consequence we can be fearful of appearing vulnerable. Looking at what is holding us back and finding the courage to share our fears or problems and ask for help is understandably challenging and requires courage. We are fearful of exposing our vulnerability because it makes us feel we are putting ourselves out there to be judged or perhaps seen as a lesser person.
Trying to be perfect and appearing to be managing everything to the outside world can sometimes mean that people read us wrongly and assume things about us that are not true. It can be stressful and exhausting trying to keep everything under control and appearing brave on the outside, when we are actually really scared on the inside. This isn’t being resilient. In fact it’s the complete opposite. Building our resilience will come from being open, honest and accepting of our limitations, flaws and weaknesses. If we accept the challenges and changes that we experience in our lives and use the learning we have gained from them we can bounce back, recover and go again with more confidence.
Resilient people realise that to be successful they can’t do it alone and will ask others for support, advice or encouragement.
How asking for help can benefit you?
Many of my clients have been fearful of speaking to their family, colleagues or friends about issues that concern them because they are scared of the outcomes. When clients have felt supported in the safe environment to talk about their vulnerabilities and fears it has enabled them to make great strides in their lives. When they feel able to lower their protective shield and are brave enough to say how they really feel they are then able to ask for support, encouragement and acceptance. This is not easy to do, it takes courage, but the benefits enable them to be their authentic self and it will enable them to take risks, start new things and set new boundaries, knowing they don’t have to go it alone. Courage is contagious and maybe sharing their vulnerabilities will allow others to follow suit.
Being able to start asking for help and support will transform your life, allowing you to be open about your fears and increase your resilience knowing you are being accepted for who you are, flaws and all. Make a start by asking yourself the following questions:
Who can help me most at this time?
What help would I benefit from?
Where can I find the help I want?
If you find this article resonates with you and would like to find out how one to one coaching could help you contact firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07736 649584